i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I'm bleeding and have questions
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
