she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
