Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
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