Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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