He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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