Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
How's work?
Spinning.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize
