You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
