do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
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