I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
