I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
