Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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