I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
