stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
