if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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