Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Boobs are out for the taking
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
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