She's JV to your varsity
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
