I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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