Im at strip club and am horny
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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