I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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