i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I think I am morally bankrupt
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
