i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
