Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
