Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
