Soap is not a condiment
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
