yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
