I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Randomize