I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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