Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
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