I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
