Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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