I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
