Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(423): View more from Tennessee

my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"

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(636): View more from Missouri

I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom

(636): View more from Missouri

You know how us drunks love counting steps

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(561): View more from Florida

he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.

(1-561): View more from Florida

you for real need to get over him dude

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(425): View more from Washington

He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.

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27 Unforgettable Hookup Texts
Read it at the TFLN blog
(317): View more from Indiana

well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night

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(778): View more from British Columbia

Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.

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(541): View more from Oregon

I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.

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(916): View more from California

Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner

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(757): View more from Virginia

We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick

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