Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize
