Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize