saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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