so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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