All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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