dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
