Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
