Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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