he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
