Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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