I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Randomize