Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize
