We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
