i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
