your parents love me but you hate me
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
