Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
