she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Randomize
