She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.