I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
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