Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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