Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize