I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize
