Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
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