i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Randomize
