Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
