Pregnant stripper...not hot.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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