If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
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