I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize
