If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Randomize
