something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Randomize
