Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
So I just went to clothing optional bar
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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